Intermission: Basements

Note: This isn’t a legacy update, though these sims are part of that ‘hood – just goofing around with the nifty new basement tool from today’s update. 

Ace Sloan stood with his father, Stuart Bowser, in an empty lot. Saturday was “project day,” and Ace waited to hear what Crazy Scheme pops had in mind for him this week.

"This is a real big day, son."
“This is a real big day, son.”

“Your mom and I’ve been pinching and saving,” Stuart said, “and today we can finally start work on the bunker!”

"They're already built precisely to specs - you just have to set them down."
I really wish you were kidding, Dad.

The bunker? Ace steeled his eyes in his sockets to keep them from rolling. Ever since his dad had heard about the new Game Pack last month, he was convinced that the world was coming to an end. Aliens, sickness – it was a bit much for his Squeamish pop to process. Stuart could have researched a bit or read the actual documentation to try to settle his concerns, but with his Commitment issues the very idea of that made him sweaty. Instead, he’d spent his evenings Trolling the Forums in a panic before settling into a comfortable sort of paranoid hysteria.

“We’re gonna build it tight and compact for maximum security,” Stuart explained, “just like those Pinstar Apocalypse bunkers on the interwebs.”

“You know they have premade apocalypse bunkers on the Gallery, right?” Ace asked. “They’re already built to specifications – you just have to set them down.”


Ace waited patiently for his father to stop laughing.

“Yeah right! Then your name goes on a list and they know right where ya put it!”

"Might as well check myself into a FEMA trailer right now!"
“And they’re probably bugged, too! Might as well check myself into a FEMA trailer right now!”

Ace sighed. It was pointless to try to talk sense to him when he got like this. Might as well build the darn thing.

“Do you have a blueprint, or plans or something to go off of?” he asked.

“I’m gettin’ to that,” Stuart said.  “Folks on the forums said no bigger’n 8 feet.”

“8 feet?” Ace asked. “Tall? Or, wide maybe?”

“Well I ain’t an engineer, son. You use that big brain o’yours and your math book there and figure it out.”

Ace was a Genius, but he wasn’t stupid.

“I think I’d better look at that website first,” he said.


Ace pulled up the Getting Started guide on his phone while his dad kicked at the dirt. Lots and lots of text about various careers and restrictions. He skimmed his way to the information he needed – 8×8. And he would need to include the mailbox and outdoor trashcan in that space, so it’d be good to build down and leave the surface somewhat open.

“Okay, we need to build within an 8 by 8 area. If you pick up the Basements tool –”

“The what now?” interrupted Stuart.

“It’s on the Walls and Empty Rooms tab in Build mode — click the little button up in the right corner with the tools on it,” Ace continued.

"You know, that little button with the tools on it in the upper right?"
“Or you could just hit F2.”

“And there you go talkin’ like your mother again!” Stuart complained, throwing up his hands. “I don’t know what the heck you two see when you open your eyes, but it ain’t natural!”

“Hang on, dad, I’ll just do it.”


“Now, I just drag 8 across, and 8 up..”


“And release.” Ace let go of the mouse button.


“Well you took my money, but where the plumheck is my basement??” Stuart demanded of the flat ground.

“Calm down, dad – it’s there, it’s just down a level. Let me put in some stairs so you can see it.”

“See now?”

“That’s kinda creepy. How’d you do that?”

“Do you really want me to tell you?”

“Sorry, son. Go ahead.”

“Now, we don’t need one, but since you mentioned the Apocalypse I’ll go ahead and build a ground floor room over the top.”

Ace built a joyless, windowless shack in the designated 8 x 8 space. He added the cheapest front door, and fenced in the mailbox and the outdoor garbage can. He thought it looked like a glorified public restroom, even without the public restroom door, but he was pretty sure it was just what his father had in mind.

“Ahhh – it looks like freedom!”

“You did pretty good, boy,” Stuart smiled.

“Thanks,” Ace said. “But don’t you want to inspect the inside?”

“Oh, right!” said Stuart.



“Say, can we go down even deeper? I was just thinkin’, that’d be even more secure.”

“Sure. Hold still.”

"Don't move - I need room to put the stairs in."
“Don’t move – I need room to put the stairs in.”


“Okay, this is as deep as we can go,” Ace said as they descended to the bottom floor.


“This’ll do just fine,” Stuart beamed.

Finally satisfied, Stuart Bowser returned to the surface with his Genius son, feeling pretty darn happy about the end of the world.

"You're pretty handy! You got that from me!"
“Let’s go home and get you a treat, huh? Maybe your mom’ll make us one those cakes of hers.”

And young Ace Sloan had a few hours of daylight left to enjoy doing anything other than this with his Saturday.



8 thoughts on “Intermission: Basements

  1. I’m sure Sims laugh at Stuart, but they’re the same Sims that keep motherloding! It’s only a matter of time before the value of the Simoleon collapses. EA/Maxis knows this; that’s why they’re adding “law enforcement” with no “politics” career track; it’s gonna be a police state, man!

    Liked by 6 people

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